It’s no secret – the merchandising machine that is Star Wars is slowing down fast. With mixed fan reception over virtually all of the new films, a general oversaturation, and a lukewarm “grand finale,” it’s easy to see why so much steam has been lost.
Maybe this would be a good time to revisit some older material, right? Forget all the strange gimmicks of the past, let’s bounce back on the tried and true Character Cars. For this list, anything theatrically released is fair game, including the Prequel, Original, and Sequel Trilogies and the 2 Anthology films. I would say the canon cartoons are fair game, but I’m just not familiar with them. I may pull someone from other media, though it’s hard to justify since Disney de-canonized almost everything. For instance I’d love to see all the big players from Shadows of the Empire, but not only is it de-canonized, it’s pretty damn obscure at this point so there’s no point in rallying for Prince Xizor or Dash Rendar. Aw fuck it, these are just 10 Character Cars I really want to see, and when we’re being given characters like R2-Q5 and Biggs Darklighter and the Executioner Stormtrooper, I don’t feel like I need to go too far outta my way to justify basically any of my choices!
1. Qui-Gon Jinn
Qui-Gon is one of the most interesting characters that we never really get to meet – and perhaps we’re all the better for it considering the state of the Prequel Trilogy. I’m not gonna bother with trying to assign him some kinda “power level” in comparison to other Jedi. What interests me most is how he chose to work with the Jedi Council but refused to be an actual part of it, as if to say, “as long as your scruples align with mine, we’re all good, but should there be a disagreement, I’m free to do what I feel is right, not what the Council deems right.” His status as an outsider, and the subsequent effect on Obi-Wan, and by extension Anakin, is a really meaty dynamic that’s hardly addressed.
Part of me wants to see more of Qui-Gon, but I think he had the perfect amount of screen time. We don’t need to keep retelling the story of master and apprentice and Qui-Gon’s overall impact on the acquisition and training of Anakin is shown adequately enough. Now Qui-Gon’s younger years would be worth a story, and I wouldn’t mind seeing some “greatest hits” footage of his coming’s and going’s as a force ghost.
So why don’t we have a Qui-Gon Character Car yet? I guess it’s just an effect of the “PT Hell” that it’s stuck in but the fact that we did see a Jar Jar car late last year give me a little hope.
2. Mace Windu
Though not nearly as fleshed out or as important as Qui-Gon, Mace appears to be a Jedi heavyweight outside of his involvement with all the Skywalker business. The purple lightsaber is enough of conversation starter on its own. As the tale goes, he’s the greatest swordsmen the Jedi have ever seen. The films don’t offer much in the way of characterization. Jackson is a fantastic actor but the script gives him next to nothing to work with and we’re sortta left to work out what Mace is like on our own.
He’s bound to have a killer backstory, what with all his “Form 7” darkside-harnessing lightsaber style. Surely it’s at least more interesting than being accepted into the order as a youngling. I’d love to see a more thorough exploration of Mace’s strengths with the Force as well as what ultimately tethers him to the Jedi Council, or perhaps even the revelation that he’s a de facto leader of the Council.
Now normally I’m of the opinion that “dead is dead.” If we’re shown what could reasonably considered to be a death on screen and aren’t given any clues like a hand popping out of the ground, that character is dead. Anything less than that is just filmmakers lying to their audience, so obviously I’m not a fan of how Darth Maul didn’t really die after being sliced in half….not to mention that other surprising survivor as of late. Mace suffered a similar fate – flung out of an umpteenth story window with a severed arm and coursing with Force-lightning….however, I actually wouldn’t mind seeing Mace make a comeback from this.
So maybe Mace didn’t do much during his time on screen, hell, he isn’t even that likable, but he’s got enough of a backstory to make for a mesmerizing character and he definitely deserves his own Character Car in the already prequel-light collection.
3. Bodhi
Now I don’t know whether or not this was just some sick joke that keeps some decision-maker-guy up giggling at night, or the answer spat out by some stupid equation, or a gross oversight, or even an honest to god “we’ll get to it” and just never did, but it’s fucking appalling. Now I know Cassian was super hard to find for some people and that’s regretful, but at least the damn thing exists.
Bodhi, however, has been left out the cold. Without a doubt the Rogue One team was: Cassian, Jen, K-2SO, Baze, Chirrut, & Bodhi. He wasn’t on the sidelines, he wasn’t a little helper or spy, he was a piece of the damn hexagon! Moreover, he was one of the driving forces behind the film’s plot. Bodhi was the damn pilot who defected to the Rebels. He turned himself in and surrendered all of his super-secret knowledge to save lives and restore peace!
At first I thought they’d push him back a wave or so, or maybe tag him as an exclusive to some kind of multi-pack or trackset even. It would make sense. We finally got a Finn car come The Last Jedi; before that, he was relegated to an obscure trackset. (I think that’s still the only way to get the “clean” Finn.) None of that came to pass. We still don’t have a damn Bodhi. Just gussy up a nimble but sturdy Jeeps, throw on a couple of blasters, work Bodhi’s goggles into the mix to keep it identifiable, and boom, we’re good to go!
And you know, I might’ve let it go…but then they made a Saw Gerrera car. I got no probs with a Saw Character Car and I’m glad they made ’em but how can you include Saw and omit Bodhi!?!?
4. Padme Amidala
It’s Anakin’s main squeeze, it’s the mother of Luke and Leia, it’s the queen of friggin’ Naboo: give her a character car! I mean I really don’t need to harp on too much about Padme’s importance. Sure, Portman’s performance is sorta stilted and constipated. She’s typically regarded as a fine actress from films all the way from The Professional up through Black Swan, so we’re gonna chalk this up to the good ol’ Harrison Ford quote in action: “George, you can type this shit, but you sure can’t say it!”
Her array of royal outfits, particularly in The Phantom Menace, would be an easy source of inspiration for some amazing looking Character Cars.
5. Tobias Beckett
I know this one might raise a few eyebrows, but I contend that if Solo had gotten even a fraction of the merchandising treatment that other films have, we’d have gotten Character Cars of not only Beckett, but Rio, Val, Dryden Vos, and L3-3T. Hell, any and all of them deserve a spot above the Range Trooper, Moloch, and Enfys Nest. I know it’s tempting to go after “coolest looking,” but I tend to lean towards narrative relevance.
Beckett was a somewhat archetypal cowboy spaceman grifter, but the way he both mentored and undermined Han Solo was pretty interesting. I know Solo raises a whole ton of controversy about Han’s characterization, but it’s still Beckett who gives Han his edge and helps him become a smuggler. He’s impacted Han’s life in a number of ways, both negative and positive, and I think he sincerely wanted to take him on as a partner. Of course Han had too much of a conscience to fully immerse himself in Tobias’ world, so Beckett did him one last favor and taught him the hard lesson of betrayal…which, as bad as Beckett’s was, was about to be tenfold more relevant in the next few moments.
Tobias Beckett is perhaps cookie cutter at worst and understated at best, but with Woody Harrelson’s rather subdued performance we’re given the impression of a man who has been through the ringer, and I think this is supposed to be the viewer’s impression of Han after meeting him for the first time back A New Hope.
6. Count Dooku
Dooku wasn’t a huge player in the films, but he was a central antagonist in the Clone Wars and he is one of a few actual Sith (Darth Tyrannus) that we know of. He is a major cog in the machine that morphs the Republic into the Empire so he’s definitely seen and done a lot more than most of the characters we meet during the prequels. I don’t have a whole to comment on – though I do wish he had some iconic aspect of his appearance to remember him by. Basically his sheer importance and level of involvement earn him a bonafide Character Car. Even if you don’t see Dooku as a major player, please, try to remember that Character cars of Maz and BB-9E have been made…
7. Darth Revan
If a single character from the video games could be plucked out to put in a movie tomorrow, it’d be Darth Revan. I don’t want to sit here and pretend I know more than I do about him, but from what I understand he as incredible story arc that spans both Jedi and Sith. I think it’d behoove Disney to take some of these characters that have already been somewhat established rather than create all new ones and Revan would be the perfect start.
As far as Character Cars go, just look at the guy. He’s awesome! He’s got a hybrid of Mandalorian armor and Sith aesthetics…I mean this would be the kinda thing to offer up at SDCC or Star Wars Celebration!
8. General Hux
I wish they’d dug into this guy a little more than they did, though the revelation given in Rise of Skywalker is enough to make me want to know all about his backstory. I doubt his treason will ever be explored beyond that of a plot convenience…but it should be! Just like with any war, even the faceless cannon fodder have their stories to tell, and I think Hux would be at least a decent vehicle for said story. I know the focus on him recedes a bit after Force Awakens, but damn, he gives a pretty wicked speech aboard the Starkiller Base just before it annihilates the Hosnian System.
9. Bib Fortuna
Again, not one of the biggest characters around, but the fact that he was Jabba’s majordomo gives him a degree of clout. I think it’d be great to get some backstory on Bib and how he came to be in Jabba’s employ. Was he confined to servitude or did he work with Jabba of his own volition? I think it’d be fun to explore the relation of crime to the struggle between the Empire and Rebellion, and Bib could be a solid lens to look through. Besides, Bib is hella weird looking and would make a fantastic Character Car.
10. Nien Nunb
I dunno why, but I’ve always had a soft spot for this lil’ mousey lookin’ guy. I don’t know much about him, hell, I don’t even know if there is much to know about him, except that’s from Sullust and he’s probably in the upper echelon of Rebel/New Republic/Resistance pilots (or co-pilots). How can we make such a lofty assumption? Think about the circumstance: prior to the final battle in Return of the Jedi, the Rebel Alliance wasn’t a cohesive unit. They were scattered bands of freedom fighters doing what they could when they could against the Empire, but in that particular climate, it was extremely hard for them to organize, be it because of intercepted communications, limited equipment, and the fact that any larger gatherings or semi-permanent bases quickly attracted the attention of the Empire. The Battle of the Endor was the first of its kind – so many of these little chunks had finally banded together to take out his threat.
So here we are, a historic galactic offensive against the tyranny and oppression of evil men. The lead dogfighter is the Millennium Falcon, piloted by none other than Lando. Now Lando is well aware of the Falcon’s capabilities, but he also knows she can be a bit temperamental, so who does he choose to sit next to him? None other than Nien Nunb. That’s some high praise.
Honorable Mentions
Wedge Antilles
This was a tough guy to leave off the list and my mind might change from one day to the next. He never does much narratively, but he’s one of an elite group of very few veterans of both the Battle of Yavin and the Battle of Endor (both Death Stars) – and possibly even the little skirmish surrounding Hoth. The one big limitation here is creating a Wedge car that’s visually distinct from Luke, Biggs, and Poe.
Dengar, 4-LOM, & Zuckuss
Obviously these are 3 different people, but none of them are really fleshed out enough to warrant 3 discrete entries. I probably wouldn’t mind so much if we didn’t already have the more visible half of this group: Boba Fett, IG-88, and Bossk. Their distinctive appearances would make for some great cars, and how damn cool would it be to have that iconic lineup of bounty hunters from Empire Strikes Back in Character Car form????
Nute Gunray
This guy ain’t all that exciting, but he is basically the face of bureaucratic evil in Episode 1. Of course he’s just a puppet of Palpatine, but I do like the look of the race and think it would translate well into some kind of semi-aquatic vehicle.
Dryden Vos
I mentioned Dryden earlier as part of a larger group of Solo characters that I think should be Character Cars, and Dryden might just edge them out since he’s the main Big Bad of the film. I know there’s a great car between the scars and those weird laser-blade things.
Grand Admiral Thrawn
One of the biggest casualties of Disney’s re-categorization of what is and isn’t canon amid the Expanded Universe is definitely Admiral Thrawn. His popularity has led to him being reintroduced into canon, however, in a different role than that of Palpatine’s successor after the Battle of Endor. Still, I think a Character Car is in order, if for no other reason than to recognize the role in which the books of the EU have had in keeping the franchise alive for so many years.
WHEW I think that covers it. I know we won’t get all of these in 2020 but maybe 3 or 4…? That would be nice. I’m kinda peeved about all the prequel characters left out but I’m in an absolute stir over the omission of Bodhi while people are scalping each other on eBay for random-ass droids! I’m also aware that this isn’t really a new topic for me and clearly I like to look at it from time to time and try to figure out what’s going on. The one thing that’s changed on the Star Wars front is the appearance of a Jar Jar Binks Character Car and I guess that’s a win. Detestable as he is, he does deserve a Character Car so….
What do you guys and gals think? Will we get any of these main characters as we move into a slower period of Star Wars stuff? Or does it all need to disappear for 9 – 15 months before we worry too much about new things? Obviously we’re at the end of an era here, but we’re simultaneously moving into a new one as opposed to simply shelving the property for an indeterminate period of time. Soooo are all bets off…? Share your expertise below!
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